Saturday, October 9, 2010

Enough blabbering

So I read my blog - Oh there are some really whiny posts, I'm sorry!

Here's the deal. I put the fire to my own butt and said ENOUGH!

After a very dedicated pursuance of ballroom dancing, a flit in the world of yoga, and another lapse into the depths of a glass of red wine in all it's complexities - I am through!

Yes, I am an easily dazzled soul-searcher in chase of the perfect dream - but this isn't a hedonistic melodrama - (okay - just a little...) this is my LIFE and I am ready to make a decision.

I have made the decision, in spite of all odds, to become a high school/middle school English teacher. That is who I am and that is who I will continue to be.

It will not be easy.

I face a year and a half of a strenuous program at SDSU that is as unrelenting as it is time-consuing. I have nothing short of an arm and a leg to relinquish before I can even apply to said teaching program. I face debt beyond my wildest dreams, with no guarantee of a job at the end of the tunnel. I face a bludgeoned economy that will not pity the middle-class white girl with the perfect smile. I stand at the doorway to my dream, and it looks glorious!!!

Hooray for a new challenge! Hooray for a new day that brings hope to small children! Hooray for having $210.00 invested and convinced that there is no turning back. Hooray for the love of my life and the clear-as-day goals that are laid out before me.

Thank you, and good night!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pick up Stix facts + then some

Fantastic - my mom is bringing me Pick up Stix today!!! So delicious, I can already taste the orange peel chicken and tofu!

Of course, I decided to look up the nutrition facts for this lovely fast food chain, a.k.a. pseudo-healthy "fresh" wok'd Asian food restaurant.

You and I know that "fresh" is not always fresh. In fact, the FDA allows you to put "fresh" on the label even if it has been frozen. So that fresh salmon fillet you are buying for dinner was likely frozen as it made it's way here on a boat from Alaska. This is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact a lot of companies freeze responsibly, and the food comes out as fresh as it possibly can. In most cases freezing is keeping it much "fresher" than if they just refrigerate it. Unfortunately, this saps some flavor and many companies use LOTS of added sodium and preservatives to bring it back - totally nasty. If you really want FRESH, you need to buy local. Or catch your own fish.

ANYWAYS, more on that later. I don't have time to make my own tofu at work today, so I am checking out this sweet website that I want to share with you.

Looks like this Daily Plate is a nice resource for this type of information. Make sure you click on the name of the dish to get the full nutrition facts, like sodium levels. Next time I will probably go for the Shrimp with Vegetables in white wine sauce - very healthy actually!

You are what you eat, so maybe it's a good idea to research before you eat. That is my advice for everyone today. Bon apetit!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Brain Storm Forecast: Cloudy with a Chance of Sunshine

ALRIGHT. I’ve got it.

So in the last month and a half since I blogged, I have tossed myself headfirst into the world of wine. I’ve thoroughly read two editions of the Wine Spectator (and that is a THICK magazine). I’ve tasted some fabulous glasses and I can now address the local wine bar employees by name. I’ve spent about $100.00 on some great deals at BevMo during their 5–cent sale, I now have a small collection of different varietals and vintages that have and will continue to further my education daily. I have enjoyed the incredible company of my Uncle Marty and Aunt Lily, who share their lovely expensive wines and cheeses with me so I may know the differences (and get a bit drunk, mind you). I’ve even convinced our lead Sommelier and restaurant manager at the Shores to consider me for a cocktailing position so I may learn more about the industry.

So why am I sitting in my chair, questioning myself? You see I just read Tim Burton’s biography on Wikipedia, since Alice in Wonderland just came out I’ve been re-fascinated with his genius. I keep thinking that I need to be releasing my creative energy – not locking myself into a stuffy profession where snobs prevail. Yes I could be a very fun, entertaining snob – but if I give in to the high society service industry – it may be giving up a huge part of what I really want to do. I need to make music, write, and teach. Teaching… wasn’t that on my list?

Now don’t you go and think I’m giving up on wine – by no means is that on the agenda. I am still just as fired up as I ever was. It is very un-affordable for me right now, I can’t keep dropping Franklins at BevMo and paying for $10 glasses of fine Zins twice a week. I certainly can’t afford fancy tasting dinners or touring through Napa. I’m just going to have to stick with raiding Uncle Marty’s fabulous collection and reading about how wine tastes.

My next move is to stop being a lazy butt. There are more usable hours in the day than what I’m using – I need to get myself in the teaching door. Get off my butt – volunteer. I’ve gotten all the forms and things, I just need to walk across the street and DO IT. I will also staple a big Nike swoosh to the ceiling above my bed so I can remember that I need to JUST DO IT.

I realize that I KNOW I am going to be a teacher. I am somehow going to end up there in some capacity. I have been making excuses because I’m afraid to dedicate myself to something. It’s hard!!! Here are my excuses: There’s not much money in it, there’s a lot of politics in it, you could grow to be a crazy parent if you’re a teacher (Kim maybe you can give me your opinion on this one?), you can be laid off in a pinch (I may not be able to get a job – period), and you have to deal with crazy parents – ick! And it pretty much goes without saying that sleeve tattoos will be marked off my to-do-list, Family: you may begin the happy dance now.

BUTT! But... It is clear as day to me that I need to be spreading my enthusiasm for writing, reading, poetry, music, etc. Those are not only my joys but my natural talents. I would be silly to change directions completely right now. I need to finish what I started - by starting back on the same path I've always known. I don't need career advice. I need a damn swoosh on my ceiling so I can kick my own butt to where I know it belongs.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Career brain is stormy

So what do we ever hope to accomplish in this life? If it’s possible, I believe I’ve thunk myself into a standstill. Every direction I move I feel like I’m taking a step back.

My job is mellow. I feel important and respected, I get paid well. However, supervising a Massage Department with no potential for growth is SO not what I want to do for the rest of my life. Not to mention that this is a horribly inactive, quiet, desk job. It’s not just me who thinks I (a wild, loud, active person) should not be here. I am staling into complacency and the steady paycheck.

So what do I do? I want to be a teacher but I have no experience or time to take classes. I could take classes online and learn by-the-book, but I’m a hands–on kind of girl! Even if I get credentialed and get a job in this economy, I’d make less money than I do now. And what If I don’t like teaching as much as I think I will? At least I’ll be able to move around and talk above a whisper…

So now a new option arises, Danny points out to me the other night that I am thoroughly and passionately obsessed with wine. AH! A passion that I can sink my teeth into, be around adults, be loud and certainly move around. I like the sound of this. I can sell, talk about, and drink wines from the most wonderful places and share them with the world! But now I see myself getting even further into hospitality – which is lovely but means that raising a family in the near future would be twice as hard if I’m to work weekends and nights and be more focused on the customer/vendor than my own well-being!

HOW does one decide????? What if I get started and change my mind – what if it’s too late? ARgh.

In my mind, I think I can do it ALL, somehow... Just get me out of this DAMN CHAIR!

I love and hate this wild ride. At least I’m down to wine professional and teaching English, I daresay those two may come together nicely in a hand-crafted college course. Wine in Literature of the 1800’s anyone?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ode to a Water Bug

Water Bug

They say you are a cockroach

You are sliding around and sneaking

Creeping and clawing with scratchy feet

Who can blame them

You eat the trash and burrow in it

You should try to work on appearances

It just looks bad when you eat the trash

Wiggling teeth-claws on your face

Munching and generally spreading crumbs

YOU are gross, water bug

But you are not a cockroach

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Swine Blog


This is how it's going down. I cannot get myself to get the H1N1 Flu vaccine.

I convinced myself finally that it is the right thing to do, but when I had to actually drive to Kaiser I couldn't do it...

Basically an extreme situation flashed before my eyes: I was one of 15 survivors left in California because an unseen problem with the vaccine surfaced 5 years after the initial outbreak of Swine flu. I sighed and began to accept that I was now responsible for helping to re-populate this great state.

Now I know this is illogical, but I have an extreme personality and high anxiety so naturally this possibility would occur to me.

Long story short, it comes down to fear. Currently I am more afraid of the vaccine than the virus. What can you do? Fear is powerful, just look at Glenn Beck.

Just thought I'd give you an update. I'm sure I'll flip-flop a few more times with this one.


Oh blog

Dear Blog,

I have been neglecting you out of my own hesitation to dedicate my efforts to finishing the Spirit Lake story. I do intend to conclude the Daggett Peak blog. You will be stunned!!! But it takes a lot of work, so I may slip in a few random blogs between and when I finally do post everyone can enjoy the experience of going back to read them all together! At least I hope they will enjoy it.

Thanks Blog, nice to see you again.