Tuesday, June 9, 2009

25 Things You Hate and Love About Lisa

By popular demand I have decided to post this list on my blog. I am very fond of it, and my Facebook crowd enjoyed it as well. Here it is for you, now, enjoy! :)

25 Things about me:

1) My happiness improves significantly in the presence of furry mammals, consequently my voice escalates in pitch and my vocabulary shrinks to jibberish at the same time.

2) I am a borderline hypochondriac, but kind of in a good way.

3) My favorite food at the moment is veggie nuggets with buffalo sauce - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

4) I want to be a writer, singer, pianist, guitarist and dancer extraordinaire - unfortunately I have the attention span of a flea and have great difficulty actually mastering these skills.

5) I LOVE the water and swimming. I just recently began to recover from a shoulder injury and I can now swim again in small doses - it makes me soooooo happy and I could swim for hours!

6) I guess this is where I talk about surfing: many call me a "surfer" but I call myself "one who surfs". I no longer have the beach bum lifestyle, but the addiction to the ocean and it's waves will always be a part of me. I don't ride the "big ones" anymore but I still LOVE to paddle out in normal conditions - it rocks my world!

7) I truly believe that the best remedy for the common cold (in the early stages) is a shot of tequila followed by a tequila-orange juice cocktail. Maybe two of those. The next day squeeze a whole lemon into a large glass of water and drink it. You will feel like 100 bucks!

8) I am a virtual beacon for fleas, they smell me from miles away and flock to the Lisa buffet. Once, I pet a stray cat and got bit approx~ 16 times as I walked away. RIDICULOUS!!! Ask Danny, I bombed the shit out of the house last summer with RAID so badly that we couldn't breathe inside for four days! The flea make me CRAZY!

9) I work my ass off. Literally, I sit in a chair about 10 hours a day (only four days a week thank goodness) and I fear that one day my poor ass will fall clean off and run away and be like "Fu%k you! I'm OUT!". I wouldn't recommend a desk job to anyone.

10) When I get married it will be in a purple dress. REALLY purple...yeah!

11) On that note, I do NOT like diamonds. Yeah I like them they are shiny and pretty and shit but EVERYONE has one and they are so ridiculously unoriginal. The whole De Beers tradition thing makes me sick, and don't get me started on the diamond industry... But I digress... if someone proposes to me with a diamond he will get rejected.

12) There is a very good chance I will have twins - since my mom is an identical twin.

13) I think the number 13 rocks! Thirteen is just as lucky if not more so than the other numbers!

14) I played basketball in high school and I sucked. I did get the award for "Best Defensive Player" because I really enjoyed knocking girls over and stealing the ball - not to mention that my box-out is nearly perfect! But everything else sucked...

15) My mom and I love to go lobster fishing! It is such a blast! The best part is when we actually catch lobsters! Usually we don't catch much but we have a bottle of Cazadores Reposado to fill in the slow times. We are pretty hard core hoop-net-pullin', tequila swiggin' fisher girls!

16) I am slightly addicted to sashimi, particularly salmon or yellowtail. I can't get enough, and it just makes you feel so healthy and refreshed!

17) I love to sit at home and watch movies with the loves of my life: Danny, Suzy, Brian, and Luke. (the last two are the dog and the cat)

18) Good wine is good, good vodka is better, an good tequila is just stellar!!!

19) I'll probably become a sun-drenched, skin-cancerous, loudmouthed alcoholic someday. I look forward to it!

20) I truly look forward to growing old with my beautiful man. Danny is always going to look like a movie star and think like the spawn of William Burroughs and a sixty-year-old blues musician ~ and I'm always going to remind him of that.

21) When I turn 85, I will celebrate by getting my most sought-after tattoo: A Tyrannosaurus eating a cave man on my right bicep! The grand kids will have to respect me. You know I'll do it too!

22) I really hate it when people say "don't fall asleep" when I yawn. You idiot! I'm just bored! YOU are boring and maybe YOU should go to sleep. Lay off people!

23) The Magic Bullet deserves a shout out - I love you Bullet! You make the world a better place!

24) My feet are crazy, I blame them for my emotional and mental instabilities. From now on, when someone calls me crazy I will show them my feet and say "C'mon, if you had feet like this you'd be crazy too!"

25) I am so freakin blessed it's digusting. I have my soulmate, my family's love, my Suzy, a beautiful spazy kitty, and all the veggie nuggets and Buffalo sauce a girl could dream of!

Thanks for reading.


  1. SORRY to my respectable adult friends, I forgot how many curse words are involved in this list, I apologize if anyone is offended.

    Unfortunately I cannot edit them out as they are part of who I am and how I express myself at this point in life. Thanks for understanding.


  2. Ever wonder if the Flea like the tequila?

  3. Hey Miss Lisa! I found another wonderful blog today and thought I would share:



  4. ps. Can I be totally inappropriately gross for a moment?

    Before I was introduced to the wonderful little smoothie making blender that is The Magic Bullet I was certain you were referring to some kind of... umm... bedroom “toy". I blame (1) a dirty mind and (2) lack of Cable TV and therefore infomercials for said product. Thanks to you, my ways have been changed! (But, alas, not my dirty little mind.)

    If anyone is still doubtful of The Magic Bullet, just ask to try Lisa’s oh-so-good spinach shot. Yummy.

  5. Oh well that is a good point to clarify with my "readers" - Thanks Char.

    The Magic Bullet is a BLENDER for food and smoothies. It is wonderful and great and everyone should have one.

    Ask me if you want the full Lisa-info-mercial for the Bullet!